Thursday, April 18, 2013

WEGO Health Activist Writers Challenge Day 18 (I take it back)







Today's topic is to "Write about a time that you lashed out at someone close to you because of frustration/fear/anger resulting from your health condition and you wish you could take it back. Forgive yourself and let it go."


"Forgive myself and let it go." These are words that don't come easy to me. I live with anxiety, I dwell on things, I spend too much time thinking about what I should, could or didn't do. I'm working on that a little bit everyday.

There have been times during this challenge to write about the past or stay current. I have chosen to stay current or focus on the future, I choose not to look back. There are a million things I would have done differently, said or not said, it won't change anything. I wish it could, I have learned living in the past is not healthy for me. Do I forgive myself for lashing out at times? I feel horrible when I do that, I try my best not to do it, sometimes the emotions of these diseases take over.

These illnesses can change who you are, being in pain day after day, getting no sleep doesn't always leave you chipper. I get up everyday with the intention of doing the best I can, sometimes along the way things change. Some days are better than others, I might laugh one minute and cry the next. I might be angry that I can't be somewhere I want to be, or contribute more to the household. Maybe I'm angry at the disease for invading my body, I'm not angry at you! Am I sorry and need to be forgiven?  I don't know, you will have to ask the people around me who deal with me everyday.












10 comments:

  1. Well said - we do the best we can, and that's all we can do. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jane, I didn't care much for this prompt. I almost didn't do it, I suppose I could have gone off topic, instead I think I rambled a bit :)

      Delete
  2. I just wanted to say thanks for the follow back on bloglovin'! Hope you are having a great day :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! You're welcome, hope you're having a great day too. Actually night now. :)

      Delete
  3. Wow, Lorna. This post really hits home. I couldn't have said it better myself.
    I am now following you via the linkin' with my ladies hop.
    Maria
    www.thislifesbeautifulmoments.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) Thank you, I'm glad you think so. I thought I was rambling on :)
      Thanks for taking the time to read it and to follow me, I'm on my way to your site now. Have a great night!

      Delete
  4. I couldn't have said it better myself. Sending gentle hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautifully said! You're right, some of the prompts that have asked us to look back bother me.
    Yes, I have lashed out. Yes, I have regretted it the moment it happened. Yes, I have written about it when it happened simply because I know there are too many others who do the same thing. The knowlege that we all slip and have "ugly" days may not make it right, but it might help us to forgive ourselves just a tiny bit.
    Yes, I too chose not to go back and dredge up the pain and regret but to live more in the "what am I doing right now." *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Chris, I think if I lived in the past I would lose what's left of my mind lol I have enough anxiety these days without dredging things up. Going to the doctor stresses me out to no end! For some reason writing some of these posts has given me an attack. Should I post it? Should I not? Eventually I calm down after an hour or two of hubby "talking me down" lol
      See I'm rambling now!
      Thank you for stopping by and writing to me, it means a lot!
      *hugs*

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate all of your comments. I try to answer all of them. Sometimes life takes over and I can't get to it right away. Please don't be offended. I would love for you to leave your blog address or social media links so I can follow you or contact you. Thanks again for taking the time to be a part of my life, you are awesome!